Why is Harry Potter one of the best fictional series ever written? Because not only does it give us embraceable characters wrapped in an engrossing plot, but the magical world of wizarding is as far removed from our own 'muggle' lives as possible.
If you say you've never wished for a magic wand and a friend with an invisibility cloak, you're lying through your teeth. That's the whole point of reading and watching movies, isn't it? To transport us away from our ho-hum lives of work and traffic and cleaning up dog poop.
Stories like Harry Potter take us to a different world where Charms & potions are your hardest classes and portraits can talk. We can't get enough of these tales because they feel like the complete opposite of real life—from the characters to the clothes—but maybe they're not as different as we thought.
Though if you take away Hogwarts, the gorgeous English setting, and all the ghost and goblins, the people of Harry Potter aren't that different from those in the muggle world. In fact, you've probably met a few of the really annoying ones already...
1. Dolores Umbridge
She was your clueless principle who handed out detention like parking tickets every time the whiskey flask in her desk ran low. She's painfully boring, loves things that are nauseatingly cute, and has an absolute hard-on for bureaucracy.
2. Dobby the House Elf
Dobby is that friend of a friend you hung out with ONE TIME because your real friend canceled last minute and now thinks you're besties. No matter how many hints you drop, they won't stop calling you to get drinks and go bowling and get dinner and some nonsense. You'd tell them to fuck off but they're so pathetic you just can't bring yourself to do it.
3. Hermione Granger
Ms. Granger is the girl in your class who sits up front and fucks up the curve for everyone that was just hoping for an easy C. You want to hate her, but she seems so normal when you actually talk to her you end up hating yourself for hating her for being smarter than you.
4. Moaning Myrtle
Myrtle is your "woe is me" friend who always wants to talk about how much their life sucks. Whenever they're out in public, they post up with their backs against the wall and sip Pabst while sighing heavily. On Facebook, they're always the one vaguebooking sad statuses just so people will ask what happened. And the answer is NEVER something happy.
5. Lee Jordan
Lee Jordan is your friend with ear-wrenching voice who loves to act like there are cameras following them everywhere. Everything is dramatic, every selfie is a Vogue shoot. They repeat themselves a lot because even they don't pay attention to what they're saying.
6. Rita Skeeter
Rita is the resident gossip in your squad. They're always trying to turn non-issues into a scandals and when there isn't any real drama to feed off of, they're not above stoking the fires to make it so. You've told them you're not interested in being part of their real-life tabloid, but they still text you unnecessary bits of info about so-and-so in the middle of the night.
7. Cho Chang
Cho is the pretty and talented girl in your class who's also pretty cool. You want to like her, especially when you find out that she volunteers for the same non-profit as you. Then that bitch flirts with your boyfriend even though she's already dating the hottest guy at school and you just can't even.
8. Dudley Dursley
Dudley's that slightly overweight neighbor kid who got spoiled absolutely rotten because he was an only child. He always has remnants of food stuck in the corner of his lips and sometimes asked if you wanted to play with his new toy only to scream "NOT!" and snicker like a mad man.
9. Argus Filch
Filch is every hall monitor, curmudgeon-ly neighbor, and narc you've ever known. He blends into the background, watching and waiting for the exact moment when everyone's having a little too much fun. Then he jumps out and points out all the rules that are being broken and threatens to tell.
10. Romilda Vane
Romilda is that heartless person who made everyone feel awkward by asking "what are THEY doing here?" that one time you actually got invited to hang out with the cool kids.
11. Winky the Drunk House Elf
Winky didn't make it into the Harry Potter films and thank goodness. She's the workaholic you know who actually has to be forced to take a day off. Two glasses of Chardonnay and she'll be gushing about how much she loves her boss and declaring that she'd work there for free if she could. Gag.
12. Cornelius Fudge
Fudge is the manager of the DMV you've been to five times because the employees are so inept that you can never get to the front of the line before your lunch break ends. He LOVES being the master of his tiny kingdom even though everyone knows good and well he only got the job because the other guy croaked and they were too lazy to find a qualified replacement.
13. Cormac McLaggen
Cormac is the dumb jock who shoves little kids into lockers and chews with his mouth so wide open the lunch lady can see it through her glaucoma. He never shuts up about how many touchdowns (or goals or baskets) he's gonna score, even though he's just a third-string player.
14. Professor Gilderoy Lockhart
Lockhart is the kissass that got the promotion you deserved just because he laughs at all the boss' stupid jokes. He tries to cover up his incompetence with charm, but anyone with a brain can see he's just stealing all the glory from those who earned it.
15. Percy Weasley
Percy is that guy on Facebook that snootily comments to correct your grammar while simultaneously making a HUGE spelling error. GTFO, Headboy.
16. Professor Sybill Trelawney
Professor Trelawney is that washed up hippie professor that ate one too many mushroom chocolates for her own good. You can tell that she was probably pretty cool at one point, and you'd probably get along if you could both take a big bong rip first, but ask her to keep track of attendance, grades or hell, the last thing she said and you'll be S.O.L.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you
your message will added shortly
Have a Great Day..